left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
