If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
