From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize