Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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