how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
