Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No subtext here. People are naked.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
As shirtless as possible
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
