I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize