My hand turned me down
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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