dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Even my vagina gasped.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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