My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
