And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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