people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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