I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
