she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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