It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
