He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
