i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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