he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
