is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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