do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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