No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
