she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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