my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
