Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
