you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Never underestimate the power of titties
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
