If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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