i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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