K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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