i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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