I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize