what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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