did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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