grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
