i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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