Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
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If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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