I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
