Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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