East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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