Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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