YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize