i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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