her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
