operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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