I need help removing her.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
