why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
