the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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