he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
