I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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