i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
