You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
