Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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