you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
