Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
