DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize