don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
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She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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