based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize