Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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