Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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