No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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