I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
