best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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