Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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