ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
